You lift my heart up.
when the rest of me is down.
You, you enchant me, even when you’re not around.
If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down.
I’m latching on babe, now I know what I have found.

♥

Light reflects from your shadow. It is more than I thought could exist. You move through the room like breathing was easy. If someone believed me, they would be as in love with you as I am.

The XX - Angels

• I like dipping oranges in nutella.
• I like having someone to spoon on a comedown.
• I like getting food before I get high so I don’t have to do it once I’m high.
• I like how I laugh because I always feel I should have got MORE food than I did.
• I like watching films all day when I have a day off.
• I like it when people smile at me.
• I like waking up next to someone in bed.
• I like sending funny audio notes on WhatsApp.
• I like it when you text me first.
• I like having no time for plans only adventure.
• I like that when I see you now I still smile.
• I like that all my friends are single just like me.
• I like having that first toke on a spliff.

I just feel I have the right to be happy, the right to be whoever I want to be. But I’m not and that’s what upsets me the most.

Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down. Body shut down.

Please.

Should be over it, want to be over it, keep telling myself I’m over it, but I’m not.

And I already feel or have thought about these things:
Horny.
Sexual frustration.
Lonely.
I want a lover.
I miss her.
She doesn’t miss me.
It’s never going to work.
I love my bed.
I hate work.
All he does is build me up.
But then he knocks me down.
I’m not leaving this bed.

I feel like I can never get quite as close as I want to.